Getting to Feel Free and Easy

And here we are, another week gone without much to show for it. A couple more people declining to hire me, as per usual. Eaten a fair number of cookies. Read in the sun some. Visited the beach (yay beach, that’s what has been lacking my whole summer so far). Had a typical rainy, kinda chilly day. The calendar rolls on, as it is often wont to do, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

I have enjoyed spending some more time with the kitties. I have not taken new pictures and for that, I apologize. But rest assured, they continue to give me life simply by existing. Cats are just so, so good. Beautiful and soft and I love them.


I was reading a blog post the other day; it was a very good, emotional coming out story. The author used the phrase “using the internet to uplift” almost in passing–referring to small ways that we can help those we don’t even realize are suffering. Thinking about ways to uplift, on the internet and otherwise.


Once again, there are so many current event-news kind of things that I could talk about but honestly, I just don’t have the mental energy at this time. So I’m going to refrain. I’m confident my readers are aware of at least the most egregious transgressions, lies, and inflammatory conduct. So this week, I’ll let it rest.

I thought maybe for this week I could address you, reader, in a more direct kind of way. No need to actually comment or respond but if you’d like, I think that would be cool. This is a community of sorts so it would be nice to take a moment to get to know each other. Some random facts about me and you may submit your own answers (and rebuttals to mine) in written form, verbally, or simply in the confines of your own mind. Let’s get to know each other.

  1. Where do you not mind waiting? Dappled shade on a warm, breezy day, sitting on a bench. That’s my summer answer, at least.
  2. What is your favorite part of the human face? My first instinct was to say glasses. My second was hair style. Neither of those are face parts, I guess I’d go with facial hair, because face is in the name. And if that doesn’t count, jawline. Wait, favorite or most attractive?
  3. What is your favorite color? Yellow, always has been and always will be.
  4. Would you rather look like a potato or feel like a potato? This one’s easy, since I already feel like a potato and don’t love it.
  5. What makes someone a hero? Lots of thoughts but, first and shortest answer is one who performs justice with great compassion.
  6. Why is your middle name your middle name? It’s a whole middle initial issue from my mom, and it’s also my uncle’s middle name.
  7. What is your favorite jelly bean flavor? Juicy pear. Has not always been but has been for many years at this point.
  8. What is your favorite thing to create? A few things I guess, but the one that I thought of first is maps. I have always loved drawing my own fantasy maps.
  9. How quickly do you go through a box of cereal? I don’t typically buy cereal when I’m living my normal life so if I get a box, it’s because I need it. Usually lasts a day.
  10. What are your personality types? INFJ, 5w4, several others that I can’t think of. I love personality tests and feel those categorizations fit me relatively well, but I don’t really put much stock in them.
  11. Which is your least favorite US state? West Virginia.
  12. When was the last time you cried? As I was just recently telling my sister, I often cry first thing in the morning. Or rather, my eyes water a lot when I first wake up. Don’t know why.
  13. Who is your favorite movie star? You know most favorites are hard for me. I like attractive men more than their acting ability, how about that.
  14. What makes people perfect for each other? I’ve no idea but I’ve an inkling it’s more about shared values that shared interests or personality types.
  15. Where is your happy place? Two options. A mental image of mountain, lake, and forest that came to me when singing ‘Aká si mi krásna’ in Bojnice Castle, Slovakia. Or Glen Cove, for indiscernible reasons.

So how about you?

In Which I Tell You about Sobekneferu

I believe in knowledge for its own sake. Learning does not have to be useful. Learning reveals to be how incredible this world is; sometimes incredibly awful but also incredibly beautiful. Also, just interesting and quirky.

In furtherance of that idea, I present you with this titular fact: Sobekneferu (whose name means ‘the beauty of Sobek [the crocodile god of the Egyptians]) is the earliest evidenced female pharaoh, ruling in Egypt’s Twelfth Dynasty from 1806-1802 BCE. Other women may have come before her, but she is the earliest definitely substantiated. The only statue of her with a head attached was kept in a museum in Berlin and was lost during WWII.

Sobekneferu is, as far as I have been able to discern, the first well-documented female ruler in history. I am certain that others came before her, matriarchal societies have long existed, and Egypt itself has some supposed queens before her. Even so, that is still quite a pedestal to occupy.

There’s our fun fact for the week.

I have very little else to report this week. The weather has returned to lovely, sunny days and so there has been plenty of reading outside. Very much been enjoying the summer weather, the leisure of the season. I have had occasion to try a couple new recipes, which were fun.

First, we made Earl Grey cake, flavored with the tea. Apparently bergamot is orange? Who knew. I don’t like the tea but had the cake somewhere (possibly New Zealand) and enjoyed it and since have tried Earl Grey ice cream and enjoyed that as well. There were three parts: the cake, with tea inside, then a syrup of tea between the layers, then a frosting between the layers and on the outside. The frosting was super difficult, involved a double boiler and meringue that never meringued, but it still tasted fine. The finished product was pretty tasty but probably won’t try it again.

 

The second was ice cream bread because why not. The recipe is: 1 cup melted ice cream, ¾ cup self-rising flour, bake at 350°F for 30 minutes. That’s it. We used butter pecan because they cautioned against using something with chocolate bits in it. I thought it tasted lovely and was great because it was super easy. Parentals weren’t impressed.

Both were accomplished with significant help from familials and I was quite pleased with both.

There’s really nothing else going on for me.

I’m just adding a little note here to reiterate how much I value knowledge. Never before have so many people had access to so much information. Two caveats: people don’t always deal with information well (ex. fake news ect.) and some areas of knowledge have been largely lost (ex. traditional history/culture, languages ect.).

Even so, I can’t handle it when people sometimes exclaim about people being on their phones and stuff all the time. Yes, there are problems with it. Of course there are problems. But imagine an average peasant on Hispaniola in 3 BCE and compare even to a dumb American today–without effort of recall, we can acknowledge entire continents that people in history didn’t even conceive of. This says nothing about how we deal with that information but still.

I don’t know really what I’m trying to say. Value knowledge, I guess. Count your blessings. The rising tide of enlightenment, if you will, truly does lift all ships.

My New Friend, Pádraig

A quick note on last week’s post to get started. A friend of mine brought to my attention the motto of North Carolina, a quote from Cicero (among others): esse quam videri or to be, rather than to seem. It just made me feel validated to share the same sentiments as a poet and old Latin guys (and an old Greek guy said something along the same lines). It’s a fun group to be a part of, apparently along with the State of North Carolina.

In other news. Last Saturday, I drove down to the outskirts of Portland and purchased a car for my very own. My initial ambition was to never own a car, then it was to have the first car I buy be electric. It is, alas, a hybrid but something is better than nothing. Also, after considering a variety of names, I have settled on Pádraig. I’ve just learned that the name shares its etymology with patrician which is fun. Also, for those of you who are unfamiliar, it’s PAW-drig. The other contenders were Paolo and Peter so participation trophies for them.

Perhaps you’ll meet Pádraig someday, he’s a pretty cool guy.

On Monday morning, I was up early and off to Issaquah, which I don’t think I’ve ever visited before. I was meeting a friend of mine to hike Poo Poo Point because why not. My erstwhile hiking partner has recently relocated and I haven’t been out much since, so that was nice. It was also lovely to catch up with my friend and his brother, who I met for the first time. The views were beautiful, draped with plenty of mystical clouds.

Not much has been going on here otherwise. Slowly acquiring a few more household accouterments necessary for the move and furnishing my place. More reading in the sun. Snuggling with cats.

Yesterday, I did go to a friend’s house to celebrate the most American holiday. He lives on a lake but there wasn’t much swimming because, though it was warm, it wasn’t sunny one minute and did in fact rain a little. Even so, it was a lovely time just hanging out, having nice food, watching pretty fireworks.

I recognize that I am very blessed by being an American alive at this time. But I also did not feel quite up to celebrating America. There is so much work yet to be done and so much of ‘America’ is only America to some. It’s a bit of a balancing act, recognizing the incredible gifts that we are given and also being convicted of the need for radical change.

I’m not really sure what else I want to say about it and I don’t really have other news to report. So there you go. Until next week.

The Wide World

Hello and welcome to the middle of June, where current temperatures in Gig Harbor are currently peaking around 63°F and in the next few days might exceed 90°. Also, here are some pictures of Bubba, notoriously difficult to photograph satisfactorily. He held still for a second and you can even see his face!

 

This week hasn’t held a great deal of excitement. I’m slowly starting to put things together to move. I’ve also put out feelers for buying a car which is gross because it’s way outside of my wheelhouse. I really wanted my first car to be electric but it’s not going to be feasible in my new circumstances, I don’t think, so I’m settling for a hybrid. Hopefully, that will just tide me over the few years until electric cars are much improved.

There was a second of news that caught my attention this week and since I have nothing else to talk about, I thought I’d consider it with you for a moment.

I don’t really care one iota about sports. It’s just not my thing. I am, however, obsessed with international sporting events–particularly the Olympics. While it was cool, when I went to Pyeongchang, to know that the people I was watching were the best in the world, that wasn’t really the main draw for me. I just really love international things. And since lots of people love sports but not international things, international sporting events are a good way to make people care about international things.

It’s competition, so it’s not exactly friendly in the strictest sense, but it’s not war. And I think generally there’s some camaraderie and learning that goes on. Certainly, international sporting events are not free from scandals and corruption and racism and whatnot. But overall, I think they’re pretty cool.

As an aside, having no conception at all of sporty things, yesterday I allowed myself to halfheartedly root for one team from each of the four pots and they are: Portugal (because I just read the entire Wikipedia article on the Estado Novo and it was interesting), Croatia (obviously), Costa Rica (because why not), and Australia (because have you seen them). I do not really care who wins but it’d be cool if one of them did, though I understand that it would be unlikely, except possibly Portugal.

Anyway. With all that in mind, it was with a deeply happy heart that I read this week that the 2026 FIFA World Cup had been awarded jointly to Canada, the US, and Mexico.

We forget so often but are occasionally reminded: more connects us than sets us apart.

Really About the Same

If you are not familiar with the artist Mary Engelbreit, I highly recommend her work, it’s playful and thoughtful and beautiful. She often accompanies her pictures with quotations or aphorisms that add greatly to the scene she depicts. One of my favorite of her works shows a traveler having just passed a fork in the road, walking down one of the paths. The sign at the fork points that direction and says YOUR LIFE and the other direction is labeled NO LONGER AN OPTION. The banner above the picture reads DON’T LOOK BACK.

This week had a lovely start at the Maritime Parade, a seasonal fixture of Gig Harbor. It’s officially summer, basically. Though we feared rain or at least overcast, the weather turned out to be warm and sunny, which was fabulous. It wasn’t much as parades go but it was fun and my brother was marching with the high school band so that was nice.

In the intervening days, I had several opportunities for catching up arise all at once. I felt very grateful to have time with old friends, catching up and passing the time. Waffles were made, games were played, and years worth of lives were recounted. Sometimes the routes we’ve taken surprise even ourselves. On that note.

One of my biggest poetry pet peeves (because that’s definitely a category of pet peeves that I have) is Robert Frost’s The Road Not Taken. Robert Frost is in my top three poets of all time (with Edna St. Vincent Millay and Emily Dickenson) but come on. I cannot pretend to know exactly what he was thinking when he wrote it, but there is substantial evidence in the poem to support my titular thesis about that particular work: he did not, in fact, take the road less traveled because “the passing there / Had worn them really about the same.”

This, I think, is the crux of the narrator’s point: it does not matter whether you actually took the path that fewer took, it matters mostly that you chose a path. The title, you’ll note, is not The Road Less Traveled (as some erroneously believe), it is The Road Not Taken. The important point is that there will always be a road (correction: many roads) that we do not take. However we may justify the choices that we make for ourselves, good or poor, the important thing is that we chose. One cannot go back.

I could have gone to Columbia to study Russia instead of Trinity to study… whatever it was that I studied there. I could have stayed at home until I found something a little more suitable than a job in Korea which, to be honest, I did not really want. I could have come out a long time ago and probably saved myself a lot of trouble. I could have pursued any number of opportunities and avenues and possibilities and skills. But I did not and here I am.

A friend recently told me in a moment of incredibly clear and concise insight that my life has basically been a series of random choices with little coherent meaning. Except he said it in a kind way.

“I think your problem is that even though you have done a ton of incredible things it has usually not really been part of a plan beyond going abroad which means even when you do talk about it you feel insecure because when you have to explain why you do anything even to yourself you know the only real answer is that it is because you had to do something.”

A fairly accurate assessment of most of the choices I’ve made as an adult. It’s not even a bad thing, I don’t feel like I’ve made a series of mistakes (most of the time). I have directed the course of my life with very little thought to a grand plan which I sort of thought was going to be a plan when I was in high school. But at the same time, it’s not like I’m thirty and have been working as a bartender with broken dreams for the past ten years. I have actually done stuff with my life, plan notwithstanding.

My life would be very different if I had made different choices at some key intersections. I feel, though, that the roads would end up being really about the same. Experiences and things would be different but my general, overall existence would be approximately comparable. Having given life a go in a number of varying contexts, I think I really could have made most of those decisions work. I think I would be okay.

If happiness and life were simple, I should probably be seriously getting down to work being a Croatian orchardist. But they are not. So I’ll continue to make decisions that are just this side of random and have faith that mistakes are mistakes but mistaken choices are less mistakes and more just different paths that, in the end, are probably not that different.

All of this is to say: I have received and accepted a job offer. It is, needless to say, not quite what I had in mind. This post has dragged on long enough or I would provide some more details.

As it is, suffice to say that it is in Michigan. So there’s that.

About Time

Importantly, I finally went to a cat cafe and it was amazing. Just being in the presence of a large number of cats…. it was a dream. They were all very soft, pretty friendly, and just in every possible sense a sight for sore eyes. I went with a couple friends to the one they liked, having found it much better than the others in our area. We just sat and chatted and played several rounds of Clue (because the cafe was well-stocked with board games). Though I am loathe to use hashtags for pretty much any reason, the manifold interactions of our game and the kitties inspired me to once use #catsofclue. It was an awesome way to while away the hours of Sunday afternoon.

I would post pictures, but I didn’t really take many and all I took were just on Snapchat. Mostly, I just enjoyed the atmosphere and lived in the moment. Hope you have a few cat moments to live in this week.

On Saturday, I had finally been roped into doing a service project with church. I had been avoiding it for no particular reason. In high school I did a lot of community service stuff but haven’t been that active since and it’s been kind of weird. I was generally dreading the work on Saturday but when I got there it was so good. It was basically a soup kitchen sort of deal and I didn’t even have to interact with people much. I was upstairs washing the enormous cooking dishes in the shower room. I got to know some cool people and even went out to lunch with them afterwards which, you may know, is really saying something.

It felt good to actually be doing something for other people rather than just spouting my nonsense on here about helping people and doing hard things. The project is only once a month but I definitely intend to go until I leave Korea. It was just so easy, even in the very, very hot heat and very, very humid humidity. If I can’t spare a few hours once a month then I would be a very different person than I’d like to think myself.

So it’s summer break and, naturally, I have an extra extra class (having already been teaching an extra one all term). I recognize that there are plenty of worse situations out there for summer school stuff but I will not let that fact detract from my desire to complain, not in the slightest. Allow me to explain what my schedule will look like for the next couple weeks.

On Mondays and Fridays I will go to work at 2:30 (actually, that’s when I must be there, I will certainly be there before then) and teach from 3-10. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I will arrive at 12:30 (again, I will actually be arriving before then) and teach from 1-10. On Wednesdays, blessedly, I will arrive at 2:30 (probs actually right around then) and teach 4-7.

There are breaks; between three hour classes we get a fifteen minute break and a five minute break every hour (though we aren’t meant to leave our classrooms during the short breaks, so they’re only kind of breaks).

Today was my first day of that, about a ten-hour day with the last nine spent actually teaching classes. Less than ideal. But livable. I’m not psyched to do it again on Tuesday, which is also my birthday. But whatever, can’t win ’em all.

You have two different kinds of work outlined, then. One for pay which is draining and one for free which is enlivening. I won’t deny a touch of hypocrisy in preaching service, but I’m working on it.

Not to be served, but to serve. Good luck to us all.